k-lai.com: Category The Great Romance

I Am God's Favorite

K-Lai — Mon, 03 Jan 2011 04:48:00 -0800

“God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, “God is tempting me.” God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else. Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.

So don’t be misled, my dear brothers and sisters. Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow. He chose to give birth to us by giving us his true word. And we, out of all creation, became his prized possession. —James 1:12-18 (NLT)

What would life be like if we knew, deep into our innermost core, that we are God’s favorite? Would it not motivate us to do things we otherwise might not ever consider possible?

One of my favorite authors, Ted Dekker, addresses this question in one of his more recent novels, The Bride Collector. I enjoyed it immensely. Dekker explores this theme of favorites in a chilling and incredibly visceral story of a serial killer bent on murdering young women by draining their blood and then making them up to appear beautiful, to be presented before God as His favorite bride. The story’s climax stirs up the question, “what would you do if you knew that you are treasured?” While this post was not intended to be a plug or review for the novel, I highly recommend it as I churn out a few thoughts before I go to work.

I think it’s a commonly-accepted idea that we humans are all searching for love and acceptance. It’s reflected in most TV shows, movies, and songs. Why is being treasured so important to us? I believe that it is because when we are treasured, we are changed inside and out.

We are desperate for being valued in this way. It plays out in our ambitions. It plays out in our relationships. It plays out in our fantasies and dreams. There is not one aspect of our lives that is left untouched by this primal instinct, a driving need to matter and find what matters.

Why else would we cast aside meaningful relationships and temporary pleasures to pursue careers and advanced degrees, if not for some greater goal? Why else would we cast aside those careers and advanced degrees for the admiration of one man or one woman, if not for some profound sense of belonging? Why else would we endure the hardships of life, or perhaps try to prematurely end our lives to escape those hardships? We long to be cherished, and when we feel like we aren’t, we despair.

The book of James begins with words of encouragement to the Jews to endure through the seasons of great trouble. James writes that God promises a great reward for those who love God and persevere – “the crown of life.” James then goes on to remind his readers that God is not the source of evil. Instead, He is the source of everything good and perfect. He is constant, without any element of fluctuation. And He chose us to be His favorite.

I believe that this reminder serves to motivate us. A person who knows in his/her core that he/she is God’s prized possession lives passionately! Our thoughts are turned toward His, our desire is to please Him. All of our actions become an overflow of the Love that was first directed towards us in Jesus Christ.

A somewhat obvious illustration of this is played out in a young couple in love. A man will put aside all other things in his life that he once considered valuable (games, friends, etc.) to impress and woo the woman he loves. Similarly, a woman thinks about nothing else but the man who treasures her. Their lives are irreconcilably intertwined (perhaps in an unhealthy manner, but that’s a different topic for another day), and their lives are marked by the affection they show for each other, both in deed and in feeling.

Throughout the Bible this same illustration is used to describe how our lives should look, as a result of God’s choice to make us His prized possession and what happens when we focus our attention on Him and His incredible grace to us. How does knowing that you have been chosen as God’s favorite change you?

A "Brief" Summary Of Romans

K-Lai — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 19:27:00 -0700

For fun, I decided to write a little paraphrase, chapter-by-chapter, of the book of Romans. While I hope that it is accurate, I do not want to hold any pretense that everything I’ve written is true – so if there is anything that y’all find that is a bit questionable, please let me know!

Romans 1: An introduction, opening remarks, and what man is like without God. Man without God is depraved, and God has allowed that wickedness to continue to its logical end.

Romans 2: Everyone, even Christians, have come from such depravity. Therefore we shouldn’t judge others, since we are no better off than they, as though we are holier than they are. What separates holy from unholy takes place in the heart, not by external marks (like circumcision) or external acts (like keeping only parts of the law).

Romans 3: The Law (and our fallenness) display God’s righteousness. That does not give us an excuse to continue breaking the Law. At the same time, the Law was given to show us how depraved we are, not to redeem us, because no matter how hard we try we will never achieve perfection on our own merit. In fact, the Law shows us that we are all guilty, because we have all broken some part of the Law. Out of His mercy, God gave us another way to attain righteousness. The righteousness that redeems us comes by grace through faith.

Romans 4: Abraham, the father of the Jews, was made righteous through faith. If it had been by works, then Abraham would be able to claim some credit for his righteousness, when God deserves all the credit. Anyone who follows in Abraham’s example of trusting God is Abraham’s descendant, and if we have faith like Abraham we will also be made righteous by God.

Romans 5: Being made righteous through faith means that we can now approach God without fearing His wrath. Jesus Christ made that happen by God’s loving plan – that even when we deserved God’s wrath, Jesus died for us in order that we might be able to enjoy good relations with God. This works because, just as Adam’s failure set all of mankind on the path of destruction, Jesus’ sacrifice became the only necessary act for all of the sin in the world to be declared “paid in full”. While the amount of sin in the world continues to increase over time, the grace afforded to us by Jesus’ blood will always surpass the total amount of sin, because the infinite price of Jesus’ blood always trumps the death penalty that we’ve earned by our sins.

Romans 6: This doesn’t give us an excuse to sin more though, because if we have believed God and trusted Him through Jesus, we have given up the sins that contributed to Jesus’ death in order to live with God. We can live with God because Jesus, being God, died and resurrected, and if we place our faith in God through Jesus, we are given the same transformation. We now have the freedom to do good and right, and we can choose to ignore the temptations to sin. Grace is not a free ticket to sin! Before we believed in Jesus, we sinned because it was our natural tendency. Now that we have this relationship with Jesus, our natural tendency SHOULD be to do what is right, but we must choose to accustom ourselves to doing what is good and right.

Romans 7: We have a new way to live – we are no longer bound by the law, because we were set free through the death we claim with Jesus Christ. At the same time, the freedom that we gained means that we now CHOOSE to do what is good and right. Now, this new self that has been placed in us continues to war against the old nature that we used to have – because while we still occupy our bodies here, we struggle between our new desire, which is to do what is good, and our old tendencies, which we lapse into even when our overall intention is to do what is good and right. If we were left to our own devices, we would be tormented forever by this vicious cycle. But that’s the beauty of God’s grace through Jesus Christ – Jesus provided us a way that, not only are we free to choose what is good and right, but we are also freed from the death that our lingering sin would earn us as well.

Romans 8: Those who have placed their faith in God through Jesus Christ don’t have to be ashamed, because when Jesus came, He took upon Himself the condemnation that our sin deserves. Jesus paid for that condemnation in full, so that those who trust God through Jesus may yet be counted as righteous, just like Abraham. Those who trust God have the Holy Spirit living inside of us, guiding our steps, instructing us on how to live good and righteous lives. As a result, we should strive to listen to the Holy Spirit, rather than give into the pull of our old tendencies to do bad. Our allegiance is now to God and the Holy Spirit. In fact, God has made us His children, so that we have nothing to fear. We no longer have to fear the consequences of sin, because we strive to live according to the Holy Spirit. And because we are children of God, we share Jesus’ sufferings just as we share His glory and righteousness through His death. So while we may not completely understand why it is that we are sometimes made to suffer, we can have the confidence that, as God’s adopted children, He will ultimately orchestrate the best good in all circumstances – and how much more so for those who have trusted Him! So there is no reason to accuse God of being unjust when we suffer, because even when bad things and difficult things come our way, God’s love is always available to us. Nothing will ever separate us from that love.

Romans 9: The nation of Israel has squandered a tremendous blessing from God – so much so that Paul wishes that he could take the punishment on their behalf. Israel’s history has been marked with God’s abundant grace, that they would be at the forefront of receiving the adoption that is now available to everyone…yet they rejected it. God shaped history around Israel to demonstrate His own glory to the whole world – it was not a choice made by birthright, as though Jacob were better off than Esau, nor was it a choice made by inheritance, as though only people genetically related to Abraham were blessed, nor was it a choice made by works, as though following the law God gave the Hebrews would earn them their salvation. God mercifully chose one lineage for the sake of making His grace available to everyone, because anyone who follows in Abraham’s example of faith is considered to be his descendant. The law, then, became a hindrance to Israel’s righteousness.

Romans 10: Paul earnestly desires all of Israel to open their eyes and accept this wonderful righteousness that God has made available to the whole world. Because while the Jews are zealous for God, they refuse to accept God’s goodness and continue to believe that by following the law they can eventually achieve righteousness. But Jesus already made a way for us so that everyone who places faith in God through Him will be made righteous. In order to achieve righteousness the Jews’ way, Moses says that we must obey every single command. Faith-based righteousness, however, isn’t concerned about those things – in fact, it says that we shouldn’t even speculate on who should go to heaven or hell. Faith-based righteousness is more concerned about the urgency of the here and now, that this wonderful message reaches everyone’s ears. And this is the message: that we are made righteous if we realize and verbally proclaim who Jesus is and what He did and genuinely believe and trust that God did the miraculous by raising Him from the dead. There’s nothing else to it – in fact, Jews and non-Jews are saved exactly the same way. This message has already been given to the Jews. They heard it and understood it, and yet many still reject this wonderful message of grace.

Romans 11: This does not mean that God has forsaken Israel. In fact, in His mercy God continued to save a remnant of Israel (those who remained faithful to Him). Those Israelites who rejected God’s righteousness are not beyond saving either – Paul’s prayer is that they would see the grace God has extended to the Gentiles, and become jealous and claim that righteousness for their own. The theme is God’s mercy. It extends to everyone, that anyone who places faith in God through Jesus Christ would inherit Abraham’s promised righteousness. But at the same time, no one should become proud of the righteousness we have gained, as though by our actions we somehow earned it. We should understand God’s mercy as it is – that none of us deserve it, yet God has extended it to us through Jesus Christ. That amazing mystery goes beyond any perceived favor from God to the Jews or to the Gentiles. It is a mercy that is only contingent on our faith.

Romans 12: Because of this wonderful mercy, everything we do and think should have the purpose of glorifying God. After all, we owe God our whole lives! As our thinking begins to parallel God’s values, we are then able to know and understand His amazing will for our lives. Instead of trying to make ourselves seem more important to others, we should recognize how we and everyone else works together as a unit to bring glory to God. God has gifted each of us in different and specific ways for the benefit of everyone, so we should allow people the freedom to use those talents in serving God. Learn how to love each other – whether it is to put others’ needs ahead of our own, being generous with our lives and time, or forgiving everyone who wrongs us and showing mercy to them, we should sincerely love each other.

Romans 13: Show respect to those in authority, because God has established authority over us. The authority is only scary when we do wrong, so why should we rebel against that which God has set over us? So be fair, and give everyone what they are due, with the attitude that they are ultimately accountable to God. Love each other and strive to do what is good and right, because Jesus is coming soon. Let love be the motivator for everything we do, because through love and by love the entire Law is fulfilled.

Romans 14: One way to love our Christian brothers and sisters is to accept them, even when they may still cling to parts of the old ways of earning righteousness through observing the law. There’s no room within love for us to look down upon those who box themselves up with rules about things that don’t matter, and there’s no room within love for us to condemn those who don’t live up to our standards. After all, God has accepted them because of their faith; so why should we try to be more selective than God? Jesus came to even the playing field, such that the only condition for salvation is faith. There is no prize for having more faith, and there is no penalty for having less faith. If you have faith, you are saved. Period. Therefore, let’s stop judging each other for what we do or don’t do, or what we do or don’t say. Instead of trying to convert everyone to our level of conviction, we should love our brothers and sisters by trying to serve them so that they don’t stumble according to what their conscience allows. Because ultimately what we believe about these small things is between us and God.

Romans 15: We should always be seeking to serve others and build them up, rather than trying to please ourselves. After all, Jesus didn’t seek to please Himself, as the Scriptures themselves say. Scripture was written to instruct us, encourage us, and help us endure with hope. Paul’s prayer is that there would be unity to glorify God as one unit. Therefore, we should accept one another in the same way Christ has accepted us – this brings glory to God. For it is because of God’s mercy shown through Jesus Christ that the world praises Him. Paul then gives some final blessings and shares his desire to visit the Roman church.

Romans 16: Paul sends greetings to specific individuals in the church. He warns against those who cause division within the church. Stay away from those who would put obstacles against what has been taught, because their intent is not to glorify God, but to build up their own selfish desires. They will sweet talk and flatter their way into influencing people. Paul encourages the Romans to not only watch out for those people, but to stay away from them. Finally, those who are with Paul in his ministry send their greetings and final blessings.

Getting Ready

K-Lai — Sat, 16 May 2009 09:39:00 -0700

In case I haven’t told you, dear readers, I have a girlfriend. Yes, a real one. No, I didn’t order her online. No, we didn’t hook up on eHarmony. Anyways, I share this little tidbit for two reasons – 1) She’s coming into town today and I’m terribly excited, and 2) Preparing for her to come got me thinking about a deeper truth.

As I mentioned previously, I’m moving to Texas in June. As is fitting with my current situation, I’ve been slowly packing up my books, papers, assorted junk, etc. so that I will be ready to move when that time comes. Of course, that also means that my room and everything I own is in disarray.

In less than 30 minutes I will be leaving for the airport to pick up my girlfriend, so that we can enjoy a few days together before she has to go back to work. Prior to this moment, I have spent the better part of 2-3 days packing and cleaning and reorganizing everything so that my room is moderately clean and ready for her to be here. Not that I intend for us to spend significant amounts of time in my room, but I want to have everything prepared for her so that when she gets here she can relax and enjoy some time away from everything.

With all of the bustling and busyness, the thought occurred to me that if I get too caught up in the cleaning and rearranging, it’s quite possible for me to work so hard at getting ready for my girlfriend’s arrival that I forget to leave with enough time to meet her at the airport. And so now that I have time to reflect (and still smelling like bleach), I realize that in some ways, this mirrors our own process of “preparing” for Jesus’ imminent return.

Jesus instructs His believers to “keep watch” for His return, because it will come suddenly, while most of the world continues along their business (Matthew 24-25). He even tells a few parables, explaining that because the exact hour is unknown to everyone except God the Father, we need to be prepared, or else we might get caught with our pants down (metaphorically).

Anyways, preparing for my girlfriend’s arrival planted this thought in my head – do I busy myself with “preparing” for Christ’s return, so much so that I could miss out on the very Person I’m waiting to arrive? It reminded me of Mary and Martha, the two sisters who played frequent hosts to Jesus and His disciples – Martha busied herself with the preparations for hosting Jesus, while Mary sat at Jesus’ feet, listening to His teaching. While certainly preparation is good and important – I doubt my girlfriend would want to come visit a pigsty – but am I going to place HER above the preparations, such that when she comes, I will enjoy her presence above the presentation (or lack thereof)? I definitely do the same to Jesus. I get so caught up in the acts of service and the thoughts of preparation that I miss out on knowing the Person.

The thought’s been challenging me to remember that it is the WHO that I worship and serve that matters, rather than the WHAT that I do. And hopefully that’s something that I will continue to carry with me.

Demonstrated Love

K-Lai — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 01:29:00 -0700

“Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.“
- Romans 5:1-8 (NIV)

=========================================================

To me, Romans is a tough book to study through, mostly because of how densely packed Paul wrote out a very rational and well-reasoned exposition of basic Christian theology. But there’s so much depth and richness as I meditate on these thoughts, that I want to revisit the topic, “The Great Romance,” that I began nearly three years ago.

Just to review, I called this study “The Great Romance” based on a phrase used by one of my favorite authors, Ted Dekker. In Dekker’s Circle Trilogy, he uses the term “The Great Romance” to describe the relationship that God has with man – just as God Himself described Himself as the Bridegroom, and the Church as His Bride. I loved the imagery, which recaptures God’s passion for His glory as well as His passionate love for us. So at the beginning of my journey through medical school, I set out to examine the Bible and ask the question, “How does God demonstrate His pursuit of man, and by extension, the Church?” I wanted to discover more of how God pursues us and learn how to respond to His lead…and in learning that, I might also learn how to relate to people. Now with that frame of reference, I would like to consider this passage, particularly this middle section I have highlighted.

I’d like to start out by examining the context of what Paul’s writing. In the first four chapters, Paul begins by building a strong rational basis for our inherent depravity and need for God. He explains that between the natural law that God has written on our hearts and the law that He gave through the Hebrews, our rebellion was made known. We cannot find justification/perfection through the law; and apart from the law we perish. For this reason, Paul argues that we should not judge others, because we are equally culpable of breaking the law, whether we know it or not. And because God’s holiness and righteousness is shown by our sinfulness, it seems like it’s okay for us to continue rebelling and persisting in our sinfulness. But Paul says that this should not be the way we live – because to do so is to incur God’s judgment upon ourselves. We should be pursuing righteousness, but to pursue it through keeping the law is impossible. So God has given us a righteousness that is apart from the law – one that is based on faith in Jesus Christ. The idea is that God has made righteousness available to us by sending His Son to fulfill the requirement of the law, so that anyone who believes into Him will be justified and made righteous. Paul gives us the example of Abraham, who believed God and his faith was credited to him as righteousness. And so instead of our works and our own doing, it is by our faith and dependence upon Jesus Christ that reconciles this “falling short” in our lives.

And that is where this passage begins. Paul encourages the Romans to hope and rejoice in this faith that we now have through Jesus, so that they may persevere in the midst of suffering, because God has “poured out His love into [their] hearts” (v. 5). So what is this love that Paul talks about?

In verses 6-8 Paul describes the type of love that God has poured out into our hearts. And here is where I want to unpack my observations and meditations on God’s passionate pursuit of our hearts.

God has things timed perfectly. The phrase “at just the right time” makes me think of that scene in The Two Towers, when the forces at Helm’s Deep are being overrun and beleaguered by the unending hordes of Saruman’s Orcs and Uruk-hai. They remaining forces regroup to make their final charge, knowing that their doom has come, but that they must give it their all because their families’ lives are at stake. So they ride out to their expected deaths when the sun rises on the nearly-broken fortress. Aragorn looks at the rays of light and remembers Gandalf’s instruction: When the sun rises on the 5th day, look to the east. And when they look, they see Gandalf with the remainder of Rohirrim standing aglow in the sunrise. Reinforcements have come. Victory has come “at just the right time.”

God has orchestrated everything with an even greater precision of detail. This is true in the broad sense of salvation, but also with the minutiae of our lives. Salvation would not be as meaningful if we did not need saving. And so at exactly when we needed Him to rescue us, He did. We desperately were looking for Someone to depend on, and He chose that moment to intervene.
God took action before there was any initiative on our part. Not only did God rescue at exactly the right time, but He did so on His initiative. We were so lost in sin that we didn’t even know we needed saving, but God took the initiative. He pursues us, even when we don’t want to be pursued, even when we don’t realize we need Him.

I see this playing out in our lives as well – that if it is out of love that we pursue, then we need to take initiative to demonstrate our love to others. Of course, this doesn’t necessarily have to mean that we have to show our love in some extreme way, but love involves initiative. Love is not passive – it is active. It is a choice; it is an action. It is fueled by passion. It is grounded in revelation and truth. It gives and invites; it woos and desires. It hopes and creates. So as I think about those people I claim to love, I ask myself, do I take the initiative to show them that I love them, even when they don’t ask for my demonstration of love?
God loves the ungodly. God then took it to the next level with His demonstration of love – He died for the ungodly. He died for those who did not deserve to have their sentences commuted. He took the place of the worst people in the world, because of love. Paul states it simply in verse 7: “Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die.” Our concept of dying for someone else is that we would die for someone else if their life was worth more than ours. For example, the very famous scene from Spartacus, where all of the title character’s followers claimed to be Spartacus so that the Romans, their enemy, would not kill him. They believed that his life was worth more than theirs, so they gladly placed their own lives in harm’s way to protect him. Or, in a more modern film set in the same era of history, Gladiator, Maximus’ friends were willing to give up their lives so that Maximus would have the chance to do what he needed to do. We have a similar way of thinking now. We would gladly lay down our lives for the sake of our children or for our spouses. But, we would never think to give our lives in place of a serial killer’s, or to take the place of a child molester in prison. But essentially that’s what God did for us. “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” He protects us, even when we do not deserve it. He lays down His life for us, even though our lives are worth far less than His. God has made us worthy of His love, even while we were unworthy.
God demonstrates His love with His life. This last point I want to make, though already discussed to some degree above, is something distinct that I think needs to be pointed out. Like I said before, love necessitates initiative. Going along with that, love necessitates demonstration. You cannot say that you love someone but then do not act to demonstrate that love in some way. It reminds me of middle-school dating, when kids would become “boyfriend/girlfriend” for a day and sit on opposite ends of the lunch room and ignore each other. That may be cute, and somewhat funny in retrospect, but most everyone would probably agree that that is not true love. True love screams to be released in action. There is passion, and there is creativity when love drives a person.

To put it in practical terms, I’ll give a real-life example. My roommate just recently got engaged to his girlfriend. They love each other very much, and demonstrate it regularly in different ways. I had the honor of helping my roommate photograph the moments leading up to the engagement, and as we were planning this all out, I was struck by the great lengths and careful detail my roommate took to make the moment uniquely special to his girlfriend. From the choice of activities to the carefully chosen words he said throughout the evening to the ring that he secretly bought the day after his girlfriend told him that that was the perfect ring, to the utmost secrecy in setting it all up so that she could be surprised (in a good way), I could see my roommate’s demonstration of love to her. That’s the kind of love that God has for us – that He would go all out to show us and tell us that He loves us, even to dying on a cross and taking our punishment. There’s no price He didn’t pay, in the words of a Third Day song.

And so it should be with our love for God and for other people. We should have a love that is demonstrated in action and attitude, with our hearts and minds, so that there is no doubt that we mean it when we say we love. That’s the type of love that God desires – it is worship to Him when we lay it all down for Him. That’s the type of love the world hungers to see – “by this all men will know that you are [Christ’s] disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:35). For all of our posturing and rational arguments about God’s nature, there is no reason for God’s existence more powerful to the unbeliever than the demonstration of undeserved, unconditional love to those who do not deserve it.

The reason why I chose to revisit this topic, and why I chose this passage, was two-fold. First, a friend of mine asked me tonight what I have been studying in the Word. This topic has been a passion of mine for several years now, and now that the dry season that was last year has started to see fresh rains again, that friend inadvertently spurred me on to resume this study. Thanks! The reason why I chose this passage was born out of preparation for this week’s church service. My pastor is going to be teaching about God’s love based out of John 3:16, and as the lead worshiper this week, I was asked to choose songs that matched the theme of God’s demonstrated love toward us. This passage came to mind, and has been on my heart all week long. In fact, as part of this consideration, I composed a bridge section to the old hymn, I Stand Amazed In The Presence. I am posting the lyrics below, and as you read those words, I pray that your own reflection and response will be augmented. Thank you for your diligence in making it to the end of this post!

=========================================================

I stand amazed in the presence of Jesus the Nazarene
And wonder how He could love me, a sinner condemned, unclean

How marvelous, how wonderful, and my song shall ever be
How marvelous, how wonderful is my Savior’s love for me!

He took my sins and my sorrows and made them His very own
And bore the burden to Calvary and suffered and died alone

How marvelous, how wonderful, and my song shall ever be
How marvelous, how wonderful is my Savior’s love for me!

I stand amazed at all You’ve done
While I was lost You demonstrated by the Cross
Your everlasting, unfailing love
Unending grace, I stand amazed

And with the ransomed in glory His face I at last shall see
Twill be my joy through the ages to sing of His love for me

How marvelous, how wonderful, and my song shall ever be
How marvelous, how wonderful is my Savior’s love for me!

I Stand Amazed
Charles Hutchison Gabriel and Kevin Lai
© 2008 Kevin Lai

What Is Love? (Not the song)

K-Lai — Mon, 05 May 2008 16:13:00 -0700

Here’s something I wrote a while back. Sorry, it’s kinda long. I like to make up for my long absences from the blog by posting long things.

Love is patient. It is not impatient. It is shown in the attitude of waiting. A patient person harbors no resentment or bitterness towards anybody, but joyfully waits on God’s timing. This means valuing people above situations. This means I care for why someone is late instead of getting angry because MY schedule is thrown off. This means bearing up with others’ weaknesses with a desire to see God change them, not me. This means looking for the best in people, rather than caring about how others respect me.

Love is kind. It is not unkind. It seeks to bring out the best in people. It speaks gently to people; it never uses harsh words or tones or actions. It treats others as he would want to be treated. This means building others up with encouraging words rather than critically pointing out their faults. This means responding to a harsh word with grace and humility, rather than retaliating in anger. This means helping others when they are in need. This means being observant of others’ needs and taking initiative to meet those needs as best as I can. This means caring for others, giving my life away and trusting God to care for my needs.

Love does not envy. It is content. It rejoices with others’ successes without bitterness or resentment. It mourns with others’ losses without gloating about their misfortune. This means finding my needs met in the person of Jesus Christ. This means that I am satisfied with where I am and with what God has given me. This means I don’t compare myself with others in any aspect – not grades, not abilities, not prayer lives, not Scripture memory, not wisdom, not character, NOTHING.

Love does not boast. It promotes others above self. It does not exalt himself. It speaks in humility. This means accepting the grace of God in every aspect of my life. This means speaking in ways that make others look good, without putting myself down or shortchanging myself. This means having a tender attitude towards others, seeking to benefit all who listen.

Love is not proud. It is humble. A loving man is aware of who he is, how God has blessed him, but does not desire to lord those blessings over anyone. He recognizes that he is not God. He is teachable, able to learn from any situation and anyone. He does not hesitate to do the right thing, even if it hurts himself. He does not consider himself better than others, but offers his strengths to help others’ weaknesses. This means I look past myself and my hurts to the struggles and hurts that others may have. This means giving everything I have to others, even my life. This means asking questions to understand, rather than asking questions to challenge disrespectfully or to instruct. This means listening more and lecturing less. This means graciously accepting correction and rebuke, while being slow to presume authority over others. This means being open and honest with people, sincerely sharing my heart instead of hiding from others. This means having compassion for others, seeing them as God sees them.

Love is not rude. It is polite. It is considerate. It esteems other people’s feelings higher than being funny or making a point. A loving man asks the question, “Is this going to encourage?” before speaking. This means thinking before I speak. This means being tactful and attentive to others, rather than being concerned with my own agenda.

Love is not self-seeking. It looks to the interests of others. It places others’ interests ahead of my own. It causes me to put my desires to death, in favor of helping to fulfill others’ desires. This means choosing to look at others in the best possible light. This means admitting fault rather than justifying myself. This means letting others choose what they want first, and that I choose last or take what is left. This means making others look good. This means doing whatever I can to make other people’s jobs easier.

Love is not easily angered. It is self-controlled. It does not let issues and situations damage relationships. It gives grace to others and forgives quickly. It seeks to understand others first, then to be understood. It does not harbor grudges, nor does it allow frustration to build up. This means communicating my heart without accusation. This means guarding my heart from lies. This means listening and asking questions, rather than assuming the worst in others. This means being gracious at receiving correction and rebuke, instead of taking offense. This means realizing that I am covered by grace, so that I do not need to criticize my faults as much as I do. This means caring about how others feel, and caring less about how I feel.

Love keeps no record of wrongs. It forgives and chooses not to remember the offense. It never brings up the past in a conflict. It pays the price for others and says, “No strings attached.” It does not manipulate. This means honestly forgiving others. This means seeking to right wrongs I have done. This means that I don’t play the “blame game.” This means taking responsibility for the wrongs I have done to others. This means moving past my hurts/wounds/scars to serve others.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Love doesn’t seek to harm others or pursue personal satisfaction. It doesn’t hide sins in darkness, nor does it parade sins in the light. It longs for true repentance, a changed heart. It desires truth and despises falsehood. It is sincere; it is pure. This means becoming a “safe” person with whom to talk – one who encourages open, honest talk without judgment. This means fleeing all forms of temptation, resisting the devil, and standing firm in the knowledge of Scripture. This means seeing beyond the brief ecstasy of sin and having faith in the promises of God, which never fail. This means speaking the truth in love, rather than lying or speaking harshly.

Love always protects. It defends others, it does not attack them. It cares for the defenseless, the helpless, the weak. It engages in battle on behalf of another. It prays for others’ weaknesses rather than blow off their struggles just because “I don’t deal with that.” It seeks to create a safe environment for people to share their hearts. It guards fiercely. It shelters and invites, rather than tearing down and destroying. This means showing grace to others. This means shielding others from attacks. This means giving up my life for the sake of others.

Love always trusts. It is not skeptical. It seeks to know the character of a person, and believe that God is molding them. It is fully aware of the possible worst (at least somewhat aware), but chooses to assume the possible best. It empowers others by supporting them. This means knowing someone for who they really are without passing judgment. This means placing confidence in people, that I can say that they will honor their word.

Love always hopes. It does not despair. It looks for how God is working out every situation for the best. It is confident in God’s faithfulness. It tries to see the potential in others and works to encourage and foster growth. This means I should look for the truth in everything. This means seeing beyond situations and moving past myself. This means putting my pain and sorrow before God and trusting His comfort, then letting those wounds heal, rather than dwelling on those pains. This means being joyful in the Lord. This means being bold in my witness. This means doing everything without grumbling or complaining. This means being passionate about God.

Love always perseveres. It never gives up or surrenders when things become difficult. It stays true and stands firm, even when everyone else has fallen away. It sticks through the hard times. It is committed; it is dedicated to working through the tough stuff. This means not allowing any thing, person, or situation come between my relationships. This means I choose to continue showing love and loving others, regardless of what happens.

Love never fails. It is 100% faithful. It does not wane in commitment. It lasts forever. It forgives and does not withhold itself from others. This means becoming like Jesus. This means NO ABANDONMENT. This means devoting myself to others completely, not hoarding some away for myself, “just in case.” This means that I can rest in confidence, because the love of Christ will always win out.