Suspending Judgment

K-Lai — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 10:04:00 -0700

Okay, so far I’ve covered the need to have the right perspective when looking to minister to people. We absolutely need to be thinking out of humility, knowing where we ourselves have come from, and always cognizant of God’s grace towards us that motivates us to call others to come with us in our walks with God. Next, we don’t have to look very far to find lost people – they’re all around us, and in fact hopefully as we’re rubbing shoulders with them we’re already befriending them and building meaningful relationships with them. And the way we do that is by treating non-Christians like people, not projects: being friends and loving them regardless of whether they ever accept Christ, and getting to know them for friendship’s sake rather than just being interested until you can share the Gospel with them and then dump them.

This next section might rub some people the wrong way, and I apologize in advance, because it is not my intention to be inflammatory. Because I realize that I could easily communicate the wrong thing, so please bear with me as I attempt to phrase my thoughts in a clear and rational manner, seasoned with salt and grace. Now that I hopefully have you curious as to what I’m going to say, I shall begin by making the broad statement that we should not judge other people. Hopefully by the end of this post you’ll understand what I mean by this.

I would say that most people (probably all people) don’t like to be judged. Yet, we usually don’t have a problem judging others. Right up there with hypocrisy in the church is this complaint of “Christians are so judgmental” whenever I’m talking with non-Christians. It’s really made me think deeply about how exactly we as Christ-followers should behave and think as we rub shoulders with people who don’t follow Christ.

So, as I’ve been examining Scripture, I’ve found scant evidence that we as believers should be judging others. In fact, Jesus says exactly the opposite. That whole splinter and log in the eye analogy comes to mind (Matthew 7:2-4), as well as the story of the woman caught in adultery (John 8:1-11). Paul describes the exact same sort of thing in Romans 2:1-4: “You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. Now we know that God’s judgment against those who do such things is based on truth. So when you, a mere man, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God’s judgment? Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness leads you toward repentance?”

This is what I alluded to in the first part of my answer – we need to keep in mind that what sets us apart from non-Christians is not the way we live, per se, but Christ’s forgiveness living itself out in our lives. A friend of mine from church gave me this to chew on: judgment was never meant to be ours to exercise…we took for ourselves what was meant to be God’s when Adam and Eve ate the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. So that’s something I try to remember before I start making value judgments about people – the very things I think are horrible in someone else are probably the same things I struggle with.

I can imagine that there are some who are asking the questions, “but what about rebuking and admonishing and spurring our brothers and sisters on to lead holier, more Christ-like lives? What about church discipline?” Those are good questions to answer. The simple answer is that what I’m addressing is a judgmental heart attitude, whereas those things I just listed are expressions of a loving heart attitude. I’m going to be addressing accountability, personal conviction, and rebuke in a future part. For now, trust me that I’m not saying that we should either condone or turn a blind eye to rampant sin in Christians’ lives. However, perhaps we need to stop and consider the extent to which we should be concerned about other people’s sins.

For example, say you had a non-Christian friend who cusses a lot. When you hang out with him, do you inwardly focus more on the fact that he cusses than that he is broken-hearted because he just broke up with his girlfriend? Does his language or behavior prevent you from seeing him the way God sees him? Are you going to extend him grace and accept him as he is, just as God does? How many of us would have told him at some point that it makes us uncomfortable when he uses that language and would ask him in some either direct or indirect way to clean up the way he talks around us?

My point is this: people are drawn to those who care beyond the surface. God has chosen to love us, despite our daily failures and innate character deficiencies. Paul tells us that He “demonstrate[d] His love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). How much more so do we need to show our friends how much we love them and meet them at their point of need! There will come a time when speaking the truth regarding sinful behavior may be necessary. However, just as God sees past the external issues and cares about the heart, we too need to care about the heart and soul of a person.

I’ve heard Christians try to explain to non-Christians that Christianity is not a religion, but a relationship. I’ve also heard Christians claim that their faith is not a set of do’s and don’ts, but a genuine, life-changing relationship with the Creator of the universe. And yet even though we may say these things, we are uncomfortable when people live the way they choose to live. This is good in the sense that we desire to live lives that honor God, but bad in the sense that we naturally distance ourselves from these people. In an effort to remain defiled, we avoid situations and people who may keep us from living pure lives, forgetting that we do a fine job of defiling ourselves on our own. We communicate to non-Christians that we love them, but only from a distance. Because we are too afraid of getting dirtied by their so-called filthy lives, we ask them to be who they are not or else we won’t accept them into our midst. Or perhaps, we don’t say anything, but everyone can tell that we don’t approve of what they do. Does this resonate with anyone else? I certainly feel this and have felt this from time to time. But the name found in the Bible for this type of heart attitude is far from approving, but condemning – we are Pharisees if we think this way.

But what of Christ’s name, you might say. We need to do all that we can to not associate Christ’s name with anything that might have a hint of ungodliness. As Christ’s ambassadors, what we say and what we do represent Christ to this generation. I agree with this principle – that we are being hypocritical if we proclaim Christ to be God and that we desire to be like Him, yet choose to walk in darkness. However, I disagree with the methods by which I’ve seen this principle applied in real life. Too often I find that the phrase “not even a hint” taken to mean “not even the appearance of.” Who are we to determine what appears to be holy or not? I believe that by concerning ourselves with the appearance of holiness for the sake of Christ’s image, we have turned our focus away from knowing God to looking right. Paul puts it this way: “Since you died with Christ to the basic principles of this world, why, as though you still belonged to it, do you submit to its rules: “Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!”? These are all destined to perish with use, because they are based on human commands and teachings. Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence.” (Colossians 2:20-23)

Jesus’ public image was horrendous in the eyes of “proper” Jews – he was a friend to sinners (Matthew 11:18-20), ate with tax collectors (Matthew 9:11), and being the Righteous One, dwelled among men for a time, who all have sinned. Yet, He was without sin and was blameless. While He may have been accused of associating with these known “sinners,” He could never be rightfully condemned of actually committing or condoning sinful behavior. I submit this as evidence that we, as Christ’s chosen people, can associate with people where they are at, while still living a life that is above reproach. For what is the Gospel: is it a call to holiness first, or is it an offer of grace first? I believe that grace must come before holiness. In our own lives, we all had to accept God’s unconditional grace before we could be made holy. And holy behavior comes from an inward change of the heart, not from the external efforts of the will. That change is brought about by God, not by our actions or words. Therefore, I believe that we ought not to be afraid to associate with non-Christians wherever they are in whatever spiritual state they are, regardless of our appearance.

A real-life example of this in my own life comes from the way I live my life with my classmates. They know that I am a Christian – and with that label, most are initially uneasy around me, because they are afraid that I will call them out on the way they live their lives. However, by demonstrating to them that I care about them regardless of how they live, by choosing to spend time with them in locations and in situations that are comfortable to them, and by encouraging them to be themselves, they now see that Christ wants to have a relationship with them because His ambassador wants to have a relationship with them. They know and respect that there are some things that they do that I will not do, but by choosing not to associate my personal convictions with Christ has allowed them to be open and honest about their lives with me. To them, knowing Christ is about a real relationship that goes far beyond proper behavior.

Before I conclude this very lengthy section, I think that it’s also important for me to warn against doing things that go against personal conviction. Scripture states that if we do something that violates our conscience, that is sin. And woe to me if I cause my brother to stumble! So please don’t take what I just wrote as me saying that everyone needs to do things that may very well violate their conscience. But I hope that what I have written stimulates your thinking to stop and consider what you do and how you think. Personal conviction, even if it is supported by Scripture, cannot be forced upon someone else. I hope that what I have shared is not simply my personal conviction about how I think we should go about life, but rather a description of what the Bible says how we should live life.

In summary, as we prayerfully seek to “engage our culture,” we must approach all people with an attitude of grace and love. Judgment is reserved for God, and as we befriend and minister to people, Christian and non-Christian alike, we should exercise mercy, that people see God’s love and forgiveness lived out in our lives. It is not irreconcilable to live a pure and blameless life while associating with sinners, and it is okay and (dare I say it?) essential that we spend time with sinners where they are at, even at the cost of “appearing” ungodly. However, this should only be done as far as our conscience will let us.

"Suspending Judgment" by Josh

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 23:15:02 -0700

I’m finally getting around to checking everyone’s blogs. Great thoughts as always Kevin.

"Suspending Judgment" by Ronnica

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 06:18:58 -0700

I don’t really remember if we tried to go to Coldstone or not. I do think that we watched Holes though, I vaguely remember that.

k-lai.com: Suspending Judgment

Suspending Judgment

"Suspending Judgment" by Josh

"Suspending Judgment" by Ronnica