k-lai.com: The Holy Bible - Star Wars Edition

k-lai.com: The Holy Bible - Star Wars Edition http://www.k-lai.com/articles/2005/01/03/the-holy-bible-star-wars-edition en-us 40 The Holy Bible - Star Wars Edition <p>In the wake of all of these new “modern” translations of the Bible, I pose this question. What if the Bible was “paraphrased” with the Star Wars fan in mind? Perhaps there would be quotes like this (some of these ideas courtesy of Danny):</p> <ul> <li>Jesus’ reply to Peter’s confession of Christ (Matthew 16:13-20): “Great, kid. Don’t get cocky!”</li><br/> <li>Jesus to Peter after Peter cuts off the servant’s ear (Mark 6:1-6): “I find your lack of faith disturbing.”</li><br/> <li>About Zacchaeus the Tax Collector (Luke 19:1-10): “Aren’t you a little short for a tax collector?”</li><br/> <li>When Jesus healed a blind man at Bethsaida (Mark 8:22-26): “I think my eyes are getting better. Instead of a big dark blur, I see a big light blur.”</li><br/> <li>What Herod might have said to the Magi when they were looking for the baby Jesus (Matthew 2:1-12): “Looking? Found someone I would say, hmmm??? Hehehehehehehehe!!!”</li><br/> <li>Jesus’ claim to be God (John 10:30, in context v. 22-42): “I am your Father.”</li><br/> <li>A description of Christ (Colossians 1:17): “He surrounds us and penetrates us, and binds the universe together.”</li><br/> <li>Paul talks about our new spiritual state in Christ (Romans 8:10, 1 Corinthians 6:19): “Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter.”</li><br/> </ul> <p>And now for some hypothetical situations:</p> <ul> <li>Jacob’s reaction to hearing about Joseph in Egypt: “A ranking official in Egypt? Gee, I’m out of it for a while and everyone gets delusions of grandeur!”</li><br/> <li>Satan to Jesus in the wilderness: “If you will not be turned, then you will be destroyed!”</li><br/> <li>Possible exchange between Jonathan and David: “Together again.” “Wouldn’t miss it.” “How we doin’?” “Same as always.” “That bad, huh?”</li><br/> <li>God to Elijah in the desert after the incident at Mt. Carmel: “You cannot hide forever.”</li><br/> <li>The priests on Mt. Carmel: “We’re doomed.”</li><br/> <li>Ackbar at Kidron: “It’s a trap!”</li><br/> <li>When Paul preached to the Bereans, he might have said something like this - “Search the Scriptures; you know it to be true.”</li> </ul> Mon, 03 Jan 2005 00:12:00 -0800 urn:uuid:706ed279b9e60fc7a6e130027ddf589e K-Lai http://www.k-lai.com/articles/2005/01/03/the-holy-bible-star-wars-edition Randomness Quotations Movies K's Take Hilarity "The Holy Bible - Star Wars Edition" by Tom <p>Brilliant.</p> Tue, 02 Aug 2005 15:52:53 -0700 urn:uuid: http://www.k-lai.com/articles/2005/01/03/the-holy-bible-star-wars-edition#comment-141