Thoughts on the semester

K-Lai — Sun, 25 Apr 2004 01:04:00 -0700

Well, it definitely has been a while since I last journaled. Much has happened since the beginning of the semester. Between planning for the BSU spring break conference, serving as lead worshipper, taking 2 senior-level programming classes, and getting ready for medical school, I have been stretched about as far as I can go. In the waning effects of the semester, I’m still flooded with things to do – e-mailing medical schools, buying a laptop bag, writing a program, responding to and grading 4 communication journal entries, etc, etc.

Looking back at how I fared, I see that God has taught me several things.

God graciously prepares us for the events in our life in a specific way so that we are uniquely equipped to handle the situations in life we are facing. To God be the glory! Had I not been at home last summer; had I not strived to be disciplined last semester, I would not have survived in juggling so many activities at once. God really has taken me a long way since I graduated from high school.

Positions of leadership are extremely lonely, and leaders are under constant spiritual attack. I don’t think I had a genuine respect for those in leadership positions until I took on a very small portion of leadership this semester. I don’t know how many times I’ve stumbled and fallen this semester, nor do I know the number of times I’ve stood firm and weathered the storms, but I do know that when your heart desires to honor God and you’re in leadership, you will be under attack from virtually every side of life. I don’t envy my pastors, ministry directors, or any other leader for the constant onslaught. I pray that God will forgive me, because my character is not yet where it needs to be in order to stand true as Jesus did in the desert, or the great “heroes of faith” did. I’m reminded over and over that a righteous man stands back up when he falls down, which means that a righteous man will fall down sometimes, but he will always stand back up. I pray that I will have that perseverance, and that I will be a man of a pure heart and sincere integrity – not simply for the sake of others, but out of the love and obedience I want to have in Christ.

Free time is a precious commodity – but we need to be extremely wise in how we use that free time. I didn’t have much free time this semester – there might not have been something immediately due at many points throughout the term, but I usually always had something to do. God provided me points of rest exactly when I needed it. Sadly though, I wasn’t very faithful in abiding in the Word, nor using the free time God provided to spend extra time with Him. I remember Paul’s quote about how even when we are unfaithful, God is still faithful, because He cannot deny/disown Himself. How awesome is it, that I can trust in God because He is always faithful, even when I am not. I pray that God will continue to work in me so that I will be more faithful. This faithfulness is to Him, to pursuing a relationship with Jesus, to others, to my commitments, to my parents, and many other people and things.

Fantasy books – especially those written by Christians, show great insights into the nature of the spiritual battle we fight on a daily basis. Between C. S. Lewis and J. R. R. Tolkien, I’ve gleaned so much insight into the truth of Scripture that it’s given me a greater desire to know the God of the Bible. After reading the Bible through so many times, if your heart starts leaving the essence of the life of Christ, who God is just gets muddied into the verses that you’ve read hundreds of times through. But just from looking at the big picture and the purpose of the Scriptures and the purpose of the life of Christ, you start to regain the passion for the Word that was there when you first accepted Christ. For me, the Chronicles of Narnia, The Simirillion, The Lord of the Rings, and The Space Trilogy all helped me remember that there is a greater cause outside of our lives that we fight and pursue. I pray that I would love the Scriptures even more because of the insights shown to me through the writings of Christian authors, and that God would be revealed more to me.

k-lai.com: Thoughts on the semester

Thoughts on the semester