“I am His beast, and all His biddings are joys.” —C. S. Lewis

Is it not true that as we continue to grow closer in intimacy to the Father, our desires will continue to grow in likeness to His desires? Why then, should we ever be concerned that our wants and desires are bad? Though the heart was once “deceitful above all things and beyond cure” (Jeremiah 17:9), we are now “a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come” (2 Corinthians 5:17)! We were promised “an undivided heart” and a “new spirit” – which was fulfilled in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. So it is folly to crush the desires of our heart. Instead, we should guard our hearts, for they are the “wellspring of life.” What we now long for is good, and if it has not been forbidden by the word of God, it is acceptable and pleasing to Him for us to desire it. I hope that my mindset will change, so that I can and will enjoy all that I do, because I ultimately do the things I want to do.

“Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart.”
- Psalm 37:4 (NIV)

Well, it definitely has been a while since I last journaled. Much has happened since the beginning of the semester. Between planning for the BSU spring break conference, serving as lead worshipper, taking 2 senior-level programming classes, and getting ready for medical school, I have been stretched about as far as I can go. In the waning effects of the semester, I’m still flooded with things to do – e-mailing medical schools, buying a laptop bag, writing a program, responding to and grading 4 communication journal entries, etc, etc.

Looking back at how I fared, I see that God has taught me several things.

1. God graciously prepares us for the events in our life in a specific way so that we are uniquely equipped to handle the situations in life we are facing. To God be the glory! Had I not been at home last summer; had I not strived to be disciplined last semester, I would not have survived in juggling so many activities at once. God really has taken me a long way since I graduated from high school.


2. Positions of leadership are extremely lonely, and leaders are under constant spiritual attack. I don’t think I had a genuine respect for those in leadership positions until I took on a very small portion of leadership this semester. I don’t know how many times I’ve stumbled and fallen this semester, nor do I know the number of times I’ve stood firm and weathered the storms, but I do know that when your heart desires to honor God and you’re in leadership, you will be under attack from virtually every side of life. I don’t envy my pastors, ministry directors, or any other leader for the constant onslaught. I pray that God will forgive me, because my character is not yet where it needs to be in order to stand true as Jesus did in the desert, or the great “heroes of faith” did. I’m reminded over and over that a righteous man stands back up when he falls down, which means that a righteous man will fall down sometimes, but he will always stand back up. I pray that I will have that perseverance, and that I will be a man of a pure heart and sincere integrity – not simply for the sake of others, but out of the love and obedience I want to have in Christ.


3. Free time is a precious commodity – but we need to be extremely wise in how we use that free time. I didn’t have much free time this semester – there might not have been something immediately due at many points throughout the term, but I usually always had something to do. God provided me points of rest exactly when I needed it. Sadly though, I wasn’t very faithful in abiding in the Word, nor using the free time God provided to spend extra time with Him. I remember Paul’s quote about how even when we are unfaithful, God is still faithful, because He cannot deny/disown Himself. How awesome is it, that I can trust in God because He is always faithful, even when I am not. I pray that God will continue to work in me so that I will be more faithful. This faithfulness is to Him, to pursuing a relationship with Jesus, to others, to my commitments, to my parents, and many other people and things.


4. Fantasy books – especially those written by Christians, show great insights into the nature of the spiritual battle we fight on a daily basis. Between C. S. Lewis and J. R. R. Tolkien, I’ve gleaned so much insight into the truth of Scripture that it’s given me a greater desire to know the God of the Bible. After reading the Bible through so many times, if your heart starts leaving the essence of the life of Christ, who God is just gets muddied into the verses that you’ve read hundreds of times through. But just from looking at the big picture and the purpose of the Scriptures and the purpose of the life of Christ, you start to regain the passion for the Word that was there when you first accepted Christ. For me, the Chronicles of Narnia, The Simirillion, The Lord of the Rings, and The Space Trilogy all helped me remember that there is a greater cause outside of our lives that we fight and pursue. I pray that I would love the Scriptures even more because of the insights shown to me through the writings of Christian authors, and that God would be revealed more to me.

“Circumcision has value if you observe the law, but if you break the law, you have become as though you had not been circumcised. If those who are not circumcised keep the law’s requrements, will they not be regarded as though they were circumcised? The one who is not circumcised physically and yet obeys the law will condemn you who, even though you have the written code and circumcision, are a lawbreaker.”
- Romans 2:25-27 (NIV)

Hypocrisy is probably one of the greatest destroyers of a testimony before men. It undermines our credibility, and damages relationships and trust. As men and women under the lordship of Jesus Christ, we need to scrutinize our lives, and make sure there isn’t a hint of contradiction. This is not only to prevent our lives from being a stumbling block to those seeking life and truth, but also to obey God’s commands to be holy.

People have often used the phrase “walk the talk” to describe the consistent life of one who is not hypocritical. While life actions does usually come after the gaining of knowledge through Scripture and the like, that phrase makes the assumption that what is said is according to Scripture. Often that isn’t the case, since an inconsistent lifestyle will often produce false doctrine. I once heard it said that “a man’s morality dictates his philosophy.” Christianity supercedes this idea, because the standard of God’s holiness has been set down in Scripture. So as Christ molds and shapes us to become perfect, since we are new creations, what we say and what we do begin to match up. If this process is received out of a heart of love and obedience, hopefully there won’t be a time when what is said is Scriptural, and what is done is not, or the other way around.

This isn’t to say that Christians never sin. On the contrary, as Paul continues to write in Romans, the remnant of the old self, the “flesh,” continues to have sinful desires. But remember that this flesh is no longer us; 2 Corinthians 5:17 tells us that those in Christ are new creations – meaning that we aren’t held captive by sin. So while Christians may still sin, there isn’t hypocrisy if we recognize our failures, and then confess and repent from it. I believe that Christians should be the most teachable, most correctable people in the world, because of the idea that man is inherently sinful. There is no distinction in degree of fallenness, and so we need to humbly accept correction and rebuke. Even when non-Christians point out our inconsistencies, we should be quick to repent. Of course, personal study in the Word should be a priority, since what people say might not line up with what Scripture teaches.

Regardless of the form of rebuke and correction, I think that being humble and quick to repent of sin strengthens our testimony, because we acknowledge that we are also obedient to God’s commands. Though we are no longer under the law (in that the law does not save us), we still obey the law, because it is of God. So let us be set apart in our actions, as well as in our speech, so that the light of Christ may shine boldly to those around us!

“Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, or stand in the way of sinners, or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on His law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers. Not so the wicked! They are like chaff that the wind blows away. Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous. For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish.”
- Psalm 1 (NIV)

Your Word is what I live for,
Your law is my delight,
I want Your word to change me,
So I reflect on it day and night.

I want to be fruitful, oh Lord
To be a tree planted by water
To be prosperous and holy
And never shall I wither

And I will not follow evil men’s advice
Condone wicked actions,
Or laugh at someone’s plight
For my heart’s desire is to pursue You alone
And be blessed because You watch over me.

Those who choose the path of darkness
Won’t stand in the judgment
Their lives get blown away
As they are cast away from the light

Their ways won’t last forever
The pleasures of sin fade quickly
So I choose to follow You, my God
And go where You will lead me.

“Command and teach these things. Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.”
- 1 Timothy 4:11-12 (NIV)

I forget how young Timothy really was. Paul took Timothy under his “wing” and brought this young lad with him everywhere. Timothy was totally FAT - Faithful, Available, Teachable (that’s the last time you’ll see me use some acronym or other mnemonic). Paul taught Timothy so much – in speech and in life. Timothy saw Paul plant churches, reason with the Jews and Greeks, work hard for his living, suffer for the name of Christ, and through it all Timothy stayed by Paul’s side. Now that Timothy is a pastor of a new church, Paul writes to Timothy and gives him all of these instructions and exhortations. Hold onto the truth. Be careful of your doctrine. Find trustworthy men to be in positions of responsibility in the church. Teach faithfully.

In the middle of all of these instructions, Paul tells Timothy to not let anyone look down on him because of his age, but to set an example through speech, life, love, faith, and purity. That’s pretty challenging stuff. First of all, Paul tells Timothy that regardless of our physical age, God can use us and we should not let anyone intimidate us on that basis alone. We aren’t supposed to be seeking approval from others anyways. Second, the exemplary life listed covers basically everything. When we talk with people, we ought to encourage and challenge them to pursue God more. Oftentimes I see that my conversations with Christians aren’t very encouraging – it’s mostly mundane drivel that I’ll forget in a week or so. But the few conversations I have with people who cause me to stop and think about my relationship with God, those are priceless. So our speech, our conversations, the way we talk with people needs to be at a high standard. Our speech should bring people closer to Christ, regardless of whether we’re talking about football, or the latest fashions. In that way, I think we can truly glorify God sincerely in our speech, and be a good example for believers.

Life is probably the one of the more important aspects. A lot of people look at the verse and think of speech as what you teach people and tell people to do. I took it from a different approach. But regardless of speech, a life that is proven to be godly carries more weight than any other aspect. In a sense, out of that type of life everything else overflows. But anyways, people will respect you if you live a life that is respectable. Then they’ll be willing to hear what you have to say, if you’re teaching stuff. I could go on, but it’d be pretty redundant.

This is taking a long time…But I should probably hit these last three. Some other time.