“Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.”
- Ephesians 5:19-20 (NIV)

Giving thanks to God for everything is difficult. It requires us to have a humble attitude, for anything that we have or experience comes by the permission of our Heavenly Father, whether good or ill. It means that, instead of complaining and dwelling on the negative aspects of our life, we try to find God’s fingerprints on everything. It means finding the peace which transcends all understanding in the midst of trials. It means that we acknowledge our dependence on the Sustainer to preserve our life. It means not taking for granted the little pleasures that we experience every day.

Father challenged me with this last Wednesday. I was on my way to school after Men’s Fraternity, and (as usual) traffic was backed up into Oklahoma City. I realized I was going to be really late for class, and I was doing my best not to get impatient. So while I struggled with the frustration, I decided to thank God for the whole situation. As I was sitting there, I realized that even the smallest mechanical things we need to stay alive are pleasurable. When we’re hungry, it feels really good to fill our stomachs. When we’re thirsty, it feels really good to drink something. When we have to urinate, it feels good to relieve our bladders. When we have to defecate, it feels good to void our bowels. When we’re tired, it feels good to sleep. Without food, liquids, excretion of waste, and sleep, we would physically die. So God made our bodies crave these things when we need them. Not only that, but He made them enjoyable. Let me repeat that: He made these vital activities enjoyable.

He could have made them painful like he made childbirth. He could have made these instinctual activities without feeling. However, He designed them so that we would enjoy them. Sure, some people can abuse those pleasurable feelings – gluttony and sloth are just two examples of sinful overindulgence. But it certainly gives me a new perspective on giving thanks before meals. It also makes me reconsider 1 Corinthians 10:31 – “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” Granted, the context of that passage is about our freedom in Christ to eat anything, but I can’t help but think that these simple pleasures are a small way we give glory to God every day.

So let us thank God for everything that goes on in our lives – whether we’re on the mountaintop, or low in the valleys, He grants us the smallest graces for which we can always thank Him in the name of Jesus Christ. That’s enough reason for me to always have a melody in my heart and a song in my mouth.

“The LORD said to Moses, ‘Phinehas son of Eleazar, the son of Aaron, the priest, has turned My anger away from the Israelites; for he was as zealous as I am for My honor among them, so that in My zeal I did not put an end to them. Therefore tell him I am making My covenant of peace with him. He and his descendants will have a covenant of a lasting priesthood, because he was zealous for the honor of his God and made atonement for the Israelites.’”
- Numbers 25:10-13 (NIV)

Tucked away in a generally unread portion of the Bible, God records the story of the Israelites being seduced by the Moabites. The Moabites enticed the Israelites and conned them into worshipping the Baal of Peor and commit heinous sexual acts with Moabite women. God’s anger burned against the Israelites and a plague broke among the people. Moses told Israel’s judges to execute all of those who have joined in worshipping the Baal of Peor. Despite this, an Israelite man flaunted a Midianite woman in front of Moses and the entire assembly of Israel as they are weeping for their sins. When our hero, Phinehas of Eleazar, sees this outrageous display, he grabs a spear and stabs the spear through the woman and the man, killing them both. After that, the plague was lifted – not before killing 24,000.

Imagine. We are suckered into doing so many stupid things when we listen to the lies that are whispered in the ears of our soul. Worse yet, even when we know it’s wrong, we brazenly let God know that we don’t care about His standards, nor are we afraid of the judgement we face. Crazy.

And yet God is so zealous for the honor of His name that He would punish sin, so that He would not be defamed. He delights in those who are also zealous for His name’s honor, who would take drastic measures to make sure that He doesn’t get slanged or scorned. He doesn’t need our help for it – He certainly can take care of everything – but there’s something that glorifies Him greatly because His creation stands up to defend His name.

I wonder how zealous we are for our own honor. I remember listening to Tommy Nelson’s exegesis of Song of Solomon, and his emphasis on the importance of our reputation, or name. A man with a strong reputation brings honor to the woman he pursues, and a woman with a strong reputation brings honor to the man who pursues her. Our reputation can often prejudice someone for or against us before we even meet them. I would venture to guess that most of us want to have a good reputation, one that people respect and honor, one that strengthens friendships and doesn’t alienate people. But how many of us are willing to be zealous for someone else’s reputation?

As I ponder this question, I keep going back to the phrase that God says of Phinehas – “zealous for the honor of his God”. I haven’t looked at the Hebrew or any commentaries, but let’s look at it using inductive study methods. The word zealous connotes strong emotion, almost irrational passion. Zealots are pretty focused on whatever they believe. It’s hard to dissuade them from anything else. Phinehas was strongly passionate about God’s honor. This honor is probably closely tied into God’s reputation, the way He is known and considered among the nations. When someone is honored, they are held in high esteem for some reason. It seems like Phinehas was strongly passionate for God to be held in high esteem. And why was this important? Because this was Phinehas’ God that was being dishonored. When someone very close to us gets hurt, we are often hurt with them. I remember one time when my sister got hurt by a guy who was being a jerk to her. I remember the pain she felt, and the pain I felt because she was hurt. I became zealous for her honor and wanted to go punch that guy’s lights out (though that probably wouldn’t have been a bright idea – pun intended). It’s probably the kind of emotion that Judah and rest of Jacob’s sons (minus Joseph because he was sold off already) felt when they found out that their sister had been raped by the King of Shechem’s son. I think that this zeal was what Phinehas felt when he saw this punk of an Israelite strutting his stuff with some pagan girl who was accomplicit in hurting and defiling and essentially raping God’s bride. Whoa. I’d be pretty mad too – probably mad enough to kill both the guy, the girl, and everyone who was like them. Thank God for grace and for salvation.

Anyways, I expound on all of this to bring my thoughts back to this idea of the Great Romance. This story’s mostly about God’s reputation – okay, the whole Bible’s about God’s reputation. But in application, I see some important parallels between Phinehas’ zeal for God’s honor and how we ought to respond to God’s lead and how we ought to treat each other.

1. First of all, are we that zealous for our God’s honor? The more I consider this passage, the more I realize that I don’t care that much about God’s reputation. I let people talk trash about my Savior, my Friend, my Lover all the time. I don’t even attempt to defend Him, let alone take offense whenever He is being ridiculed. Do I dare speak up to say hey, stop talking that way about my God? We’re comfortable enough telling people to stop ridiculing our family, our friends, our boyfriend/girlfriend, but what about our God, the Creator and Sustainer of the entire universe? I feel like Peter after he realized his denial of Christ. Ouch.
2. Secondly, are we that zealous about other people’s honor, to the point where we lay down our own reputation and honor to defend someone else? It’s a bit more instinctual and natural to defend our friends and family; we’re even comfortable defending our ideologies and politics. But what about those who are always marginalized? What about those who are just plain difficult to love? What about those who disrespect us, or those who even torment us? Can we be zealous for their honor as well? Jesus is.
3. Finally, I realized why this zeal was so evident in the love relationships I see with my friends. I’ve often asked myself, “Self, why is it that guys are so prickly when other people tease their girlfriends?” Or, “Self, why do women automatically deny slander against the men they love?” And from meditating on this passage, I see that the reason for this behavior is because zeal is inextricably linked to love. That’s why God says, “It is mine to avenge; I will repay” (Romans 12:19). He is zealous for us, because what the world thinks of us (Christians) is what the world thinks of Him. We are now linked to His reputation; because of this, how we live is infinitely important in Kingdom work. Every little action of ours affects people’s perceptions of God, as Christ’s ambassadors (2 Corinthians 5). Scary.

I could go on and on, but this is just a smidgen of what God’s been showing me recently. I’m floored by the intense emotion that God feels for me, and that I am created to feel for Him and for the rest of His creation. Dare I love people as He loves them? Dare I love Him as a reflection of His love for me? Lord help me, I want to.

There are days when I feel like I could take on the whole world on my own. On the days when I’m more intelligent, I realize that I can’t survive on my own.

God’s love is soooo amazing. Even as I sit here in my “home away from home” at the medical school, I can’t help but think about the wonderful love He has lavished upon us. He chose to love us, creations that He intricately wove in the womb, and He delights to see us reflect His autonomy as we make decisions and choose to worship Him or reject Him.

Jim White spoke at Vespers last night at my first Vespers as an alumnus and as a graduate student. The word God gave him to share went right alongside all of the marvelous things God has been showing me in the past few weeks. Our loving, passionate relationships with others here on earth are reflections of the greatest, most passionate relationship in existence – that between the Trinity, and, by extension, the relationship between the Trinity and the church. So whichever direction you look at this – applying what we know of how God pursues our hearts and our response to the way we ought to relate to others, or vice versa – we need to learn how to live. And that knowledge only comes through faith in the only Son of God, Jesus Christ.

So what does all of this have to do with the title of the post? Well, the possibility of a dynamic relationship with the Creator of the universe implies that we will never be all alone. No matter how starved we may be for meaningful human interaction, no matter how lonely we may feel, He is right there with us, by our side, wiping away every tear. Now that’s a tremendous encouragement. The requirements of medical school demand that I spend most waking moments of my day studying for tests which will determine my grades. That often takes me away from friends and family, who operate on different time schedules. This also means that most of the friends I’ve made in medical school only talk about medical school. But knowing that God is by my side and that He’s completely faithful has been tremendously encouraging. Of course He understands what I’m going through – He wove every single artery and nerve in our body and breathed the breath of life into our lungs. He caused our hearts to beat automatically, He designed the wiring of our brains. He thought up the very specific ways that chemicals interact with each other. He can walk me through even the darkest, deepest valleys of my life.

I finish this post with a song that I wrote this summer. As I can with all of the serious songs I write, I share this as a cry from my heart to the only One who remains by my side.

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Difficult times are coming
Discouragement reigns
My pride has been shown for what it is

It’s hard to keep fighting on
I want to give up
But You reached down to lift me up
And carry me home

Carry me, Jesus, I can’t do this on my own
Hold me, dear Jesus, I barely have the strength to stand
Love me, sweet Jesus, my life’s lived for Your glory
Your love and grace fills me with praise
And carries me back home to You

Rejoice in the Lord always
Again I say, rejoice
Your faithfulness is more than enough
To carry me home

Carry me, Jesus, I can’t do this on my own
Hold me, dear Jesus, I barely have the strength to stand
Love me, sweet Jesus, my life’s lived for Your glory
Your love and grace fills me with praise
And carries me back home to You

Swing low, sweet chariot
Comin’ forth to carry me home
Swing low, sweet chariot
Comin’ forth to carry me home

Carry me, Jesus, I can’t do this on my own
Hold me, dear Jesus, I barely have the strength to stand
Love me, sweet Jesus, my life’s lived for Your glory
Your love and grace fills me with praise
And carries me back home to You

Carry Me
Kevin Lai
© 2005 Kevin Lai. All rights reserved.

Funny how things work out. I was just thinking about the choices I made today. I had planned on studying for about 5-6 hours this afternoon/evening, but my choices changed those plans.

First off, after I got back to Norman around 2, I filled my gas tank, and was trying to decide whether to go to the BSU to study, or to go home and study. I was already on my way to the BSU, but I figured that I needed to use the internet for Notegroups (this feature that allows med students to access lectures and notes on the lecture – giving many people reason to not go to class). Plus, I didn’t sleep much the night before, and I was looking forward to taking a short nap. So on a whim, I decided to forego studying at the BSU and head back home, where I enjoyed a nice 45-minute nap. Unfortunately, I got distracted after I woke up, and hence whittled my time away until suddenly it was 10:00pm, and I had barely touched the material I was going to study.

Funny how one bad decision can lead to another, and another…

The good news to all of this is that God is still faithful. Even though I was foolish, and I probably should have kept to my original plan instead of satisfying my flesh with nappage, He still extends His grace towards me. It’s so hard for me to grasp that! I feel so stupid for turning towards home now, but yet to think that God has forgiven me and put it all away at the Cross…wow. I can start new and fresh. I am not the failure I think I am. It’s only by my dependence on His grace that I can continue pressing on.

Dear God, thank You so much for loving me, even when I think and feel like the most foolish, stupid, and unlovable person on the face of the planet. I won’t ever fully grasp the fullness of this unconditional love that is lavished abundantly on me. I pray that You will pick me up and strengthen me to do Your will. Give me discernment to hear Your voice. Be glorified in all that I do, think, and say.

“The LORD God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them.”
- Genesis 3:21 (NIV)

If you recall my last post about the Great Romance, I was saying how it’s amazing that God pursues us diligently. Even when we’ve disobeyed Him, He calls out to us, hoping that we will turn back to Him. This passage continues along those lines. The verse above follows the curses God pronounced upon the serpent, man, and woman.

Now, at the time that Adam and Eve ate of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, their eyes were “opened” and realized they were naked. Because of their shame, they scrambled to find cover for their nakedness. Verse 7 says that they “sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.” Now, even after the curse that God places upon the man and woman, He is still showing His goodness and provision. What He cursed was just – a fair consequence for disobedience. But what follows the curse was His mighty provision. He made clothes for Adam and Eve out of skin, which was probably a more suitable (not to mention more comfortable) alternative to wearing leaves.

How awesome is that? Even when we sin and turn from the Father, He will not turn His hand of blessing away. That “kindness that leads to repentance” makes me want to shout from the depths of my heart, or dance with all of my might.

So how can we apply this? Well, for starters, I’m definitely going to praise God for His infinite mercy. He deserves all of the glory and honor we can give Him. In the way we conduct ourselves towards others, this may be forgiving and serving our enemies. It may look like providing abundantly for our children even when they are disobedient (obviously there’s still a need to discipline them if they do wrong). This is a life of consistency and commitment to love unconditionally.

What an amazing challenge for us. May God grace us with His love today!