For fun, I decided to write a little paraphrase, chapter-by-chapter, of the book of Romans. While I hope that it is accurate, I do not want to hold any pretense that everything I’ve written is true – so if there is anything that y’all find that is a bit questionable, please let me know!

Romans 1: An introduction, opening remarks, and what man is like without God. Man without God is depraved, and God has allowed that wickedness to continue to its logical end.

Romans 2: Everyone, even Christians, have come from such depravity. Therefore we shouldn’t judge others, since we are no better off than they, as though we are holier than they are. What separates holy from unholy takes place in the heart, not by external marks (like circumcision) or external acts (like keeping only parts of the law).

Romans 3: The Law (and our fallenness) display God’s righteousness. That does not give us an excuse to continue breaking the Law. At the same time, the Law was given to show us how depraved we are, not to redeem us, because no matter how hard we try we will never achieve perfection on our own merit. In fact, the Law shows us that we are all guilty, because we have all broken some part of the Law. Out of His mercy, God gave us another way to attain righteousness. The righteousness that redeems us comes by grace through faith.

Romans 4: Abraham, the father of the Jews, was made righteous through faith. If it had been by works, then Abraham would be able to claim some credit for his righteousness, when God deserves all the credit. Anyone who follows in Abraham’s example of trusting God is Abraham’s descendant, and if we have faith like Abraham we will also be made righteous by God.

Romans 5: Being made righteous through faith means that we can now approach God without fearing His wrath. Jesus Christ made that happen by God’s loving plan – that even when we deserved God’s wrath, Jesus died for us in order that we might be able to enjoy good relations with God. This works because, just as Adam’s failure set all of mankind on the path of destruction, Jesus’ sacrifice became the only necessary act for all of the sin in the world to be declared “paid in full”. While the amount of sin in the world continues to increase over time, the grace afforded to us by Jesus’ blood will always surpass the total amount of sin, because the infinite price of Jesus’ blood always trumps the death penalty that we’ve earned by our sins.

Romans 6: This doesn’t give us an excuse to sin more though, because if we have believed God and trusted Him through Jesus, we have given up the sins that contributed to Jesus’ death in order to live with God. We can live with God because Jesus, being God, died and resurrected, and if we place our faith in God through Jesus, we are given the same transformation. We now have the freedom to do good and right, and we can choose to ignore the temptations to sin. Grace is not a free ticket to sin! Before we believed in Jesus, we sinned because it was our natural tendency. Now that we have this relationship with Jesus, our natural tendency SHOULD be to do what is right, but we must choose to accustom ourselves to doing what is good and right.

Romans 7: We have a new way to live – we are no longer bound by the law, because we were set free through the death we claim with Jesus Christ. At the same time, the freedom that we gained means that we now CHOOSE to do what is good and right. Now, this new self that has been placed in us continues to war against the old nature that we used to have – because while we still occupy our bodies here, we struggle between our new desire, which is to do what is good, and our old tendencies, which we lapse into even when our overall intention is to do what is good and right. If we were left to our own devices, we would be tormented forever by this vicious cycle. But that’s the beauty of God’s grace through Jesus Christ – Jesus provided us a way that, not only are we free to choose what is good and right, but we are also freed from the death that our lingering sin would earn us as well.

Romans 8: Those who have placed their faith in God through Jesus Christ don’t have to be ashamed, because when Jesus came, He took upon Himself the condemnation that our sin deserves. Jesus paid for that condemnation in full, so that those who trust God through Jesus may yet be counted as righteous, just like Abraham. Those who trust God have the Holy Spirit living inside of us, guiding our steps, instructing us on how to live good and righteous lives. As a result, we should strive to listen to the Holy Spirit, rather than give into the pull of our old tendencies to do bad. Our allegiance is now to God and the Holy Spirit. In fact, God has made us His children, so that we have nothing to fear. We no longer have to fear the consequences of sin, because we strive to live according to the Holy Spirit. And because we are children of God, we share Jesus’ sufferings just as we share His glory and righteousness through His death. So while we may not completely understand why it is that we are sometimes made to suffer, we can have the confidence that, as God’s adopted children, He will ultimately orchestrate the best good in all circumstances – and how much more so for those who have trusted Him! So there is no reason to accuse God of being unjust when we suffer, because even when bad things and difficult things come our way, God’s love is always available to us. Nothing will ever separate us from that love.

Romans 9: The nation of Israel has squandered a tremendous blessing from God – so much so that Paul wishes that he could take the punishment on their behalf. Israel’s history has been marked with God’s abundant grace, that they would be at the forefront of receiving the adoption that is now available to everyone…yet they rejected it. God shaped history around Israel to demonstrate His own glory to the whole world – it was not a choice made by birthright, as though Jacob were better off than Esau, nor was it a choice made by inheritance, as though only people genetically related to Abraham were blessed, nor was it a choice made by works, as though following the law God gave the Hebrews would earn them their salvation. God mercifully chose one lineage for the sake of making His grace available to everyone, because anyone who follows in Abraham’s example of faith is considered to be his descendant. The law, then, became a hindrance to Israel’s righteousness.

Romans 10: Paul earnestly desires all of Israel to open their eyes and accept this wonderful righteousness that God has made available to the whole world. Because while the Jews are zealous for God, they refuse to accept God’s goodness and continue to believe that by following the law they can eventually achieve righteousness. But Jesus already made a way for us so that everyone who places faith in God through Him will be made righteous. In order to achieve righteousness the Jews’ way, Moses says that we must obey every single command. Faith-based righteousness, however, isn’t concerned about those things – in fact, it says that we shouldn’t even speculate on who should go to heaven or hell. Faith-based righteousness is more concerned about the urgency of the here and now, that this wonderful message reaches everyone’s ears. And this is the message: that we are made righteous if we realize and verbally proclaim who Jesus is and what He did and genuinely believe and trust that God did the miraculous by raising Him from the dead. There’s nothing else to it – in fact, Jews and non-Jews are saved exactly the same way. This message has already been given to the Jews. They heard it and understood it, and yet many still reject this wonderful message of grace.

Romans 11: This does not mean that God has forsaken Israel. In fact, in His mercy God continued to save a remnant of Israel (those who remained faithful to Him). Those Israelites who rejected God’s righteousness are not beyond saving either – Paul’s prayer is that they would see the grace God has extended to the Gentiles, and become jealous and claim that righteousness for their own. The theme is God’s mercy. It extends to everyone, that anyone who places faith in God through Jesus Christ would inherit Abraham’s promised righteousness. But at the same time, no one should become proud of the righteousness we have gained, as though by our actions we somehow earned it. We should understand God’s mercy as it is – that none of us deserve it, yet God has extended it to us through Jesus Christ. That amazing mystery goes beyond any perceived favor from God to the Jews or to the Gentiles. It is a mercy that is only contingent on our faith.

Romans 12: Because of this wonderful mercy, everything we do and think should have the purpose of glorifying God. After all, we owe God our whole lives! As our thinking begins to parallel God’s values, we are then able to know and understand His amazing will for our lives. Instead of trying to make ourselves seem more important to others, we should recognize how we and everyone else works together as a unit to bring glory to God. God has gifted each of us in different and specific ways for the benefit of everyone, so we should allow people the freedom to use those talents in serving God. Learn how to love each other – whether it is to put others’ needs ahead of our own, being generous with our lives and time, or forgiving everyone who wrongs us and showing mercy to them, we should sincerely love each other.

Romans 13: Show respect to those in authority, because God has established authority over us. The authority is only scary when we do wrong, so why should we rebel against that which God has set over us? So be fair, and give everyone what they are due, with the attitude that they are ultimately accountable to God. Love each other and strive to do what is good and right, because Jesus is coming soon. Let love be the motivator for everything we do, because through love and by love the entire Law is fulfilled.

Romans 14: One way to love our Christian brothers and sisters is to accept them, even when they may still cling to parts of the old ways of earning righteousness through observing the law. There’s no room within love for us to look down upon those who box themselves up with rules about things that don’t matter, and there’s no room within love for us to condemn those who don’t live up to our standards. After all, God has accepted them because of their faith; so why should we try to be more selective than God? Jesus came to even the playing field, such that the only condition for salvation is faith. There is no prize for having more faith, and there is no penalty for having less faith. If you have faith, you are saved. Period. Therefore, let’s stop judging each other for what we do or don’t do, or what we do or don’t say. Instead of trying to convert everyone to our level of conviction, we should love our brothers and sisters by trying to serve them so that they don’t stumble according to what their conscience allows. Because ultimately what we believe about these small things is between us and God.

Romans 15: We should always be seeking to serve others and build them up, rather than trying to please ourselves. After all, Jesus didn’t seek to please Himself, as the Scriptures themselves say. Scripture was written to instruct us, encourage us, and help us endure with hope. Paul’s prayer is that there would be unity to glorify God as one unit. Therefore, we should accept one another in the same way Christ has accepted us – this brings glory to God. For it is because of God’s mercy shown through Jesus Christ that the world praises Him. Paul then gives some final blessings and shares his desire to visit the Roman church.

Romans 16: Paul sends greetings to specific individuals in the church. He warns against those who cause division within the church. Stay away from those who would put obstacles against what has been taught, because their intent is not to glorify God, but to build up their own selfish desires. They will sweet talk and flatter their way into influencing people. Paul encourages the Romans to not only watch out for those people, but to stay away from them. Finally, those who are with Paul in his ministry send their greetings and final blessings.

In case I haven’t told you, dear readers, I have a girlfriend. Yes, a real one. No, I didn’t order her online. No, we didn’t hook up on eHarmony. Anyways, I share this little tidbit for two reasons – 1) She’s coming into town today and I’m terribly excited, and 2) Preparing for her to come got me thinking about a deeper truth.

As I mentioned previously, I’m moving to Texas in June. As is fitting with my current situation, I’ve been slowly packing up my books, papers, assorted junk, etc. so that I will be ready to move when that time comes. Of course, that also means that my room and everything I own is in disarray.

In less than 30 minutes I will be leaving for the airport to pick up my girlfriend, so that we can enjoy a few days together before she has to go back to work. Prior to this moment, I have spent the better part of 2-3 days packing and cleaning and reorganizing everything so that my room is moderately clean and ready for her to be here. Not that I intend for us to spend significant amounts of time in my room, but I want to have everything prepared for her so that when she gets here she can relax and enjoy some time away from everything.

With all of the bustling and busyness, the thought occurred to me that if I get too caught up in the cleaning and rearranging, it’s quite possible for me to work so hard at getting ready for my girlfriend’s arrival that I forget to leave with enough time to meet her at the airport. And so now that I have time to reflect (and still smelling like bleach), I realize that in some ways, this mirrors our own process of “preparing” for Jesus’ imminent return.

Jesus instructs His believers to “keep watch” for His return, because it will come suddenly, while most of the world continues along their business (Matthew 24-25). He even tells a few parables, explaining that because the exact hour is unknown to everyone except God the Father, we need to be prepared, or else we might get caught with our pants down (metaphorically).

Anyways, preparing for my girlfriend’s arrival planted this thought in my head – do I busy myself with “preparing” for Christ’s return, so much so that I could miss out on the very Person I’m waiting to arrive? It reminded me of Mary and Martha, the two sisters who played frequent hosts to Jesus and His disciples – Martha busied herself with the preparations for hosting Jesus, while Mary sat at Jesus’ feet, listening to His teaching. While certainly preparation is good and important – I doubt my girlfriend would want to come visit a pigsty – but am I going to place HER above the preparations, such that when she comes, I will enjoy her presence above the presentation (or lack thereof)? I definitely do the same to Jesus. I get so caught up in the acts of service and the thoughts of preparation that I miss out on knowing the Person.

The thought’s been challenging me to remember that it is the WHO that I worship and serve that matters, rather than the WHAT that I do. And hopefully that’s something that I will continue to carry with me.

Okay, so far I’ve covered the need to have the right perspective when looking to minister to people. We absolutely need to be thinking out of humility, knowing where we ourselves have come from, and always cognizant of God’s grace towards us that motivates us to call others to come with us in our walks with God. Next, we don’t have to look very far to find lost people – they’re all around us, and in fact hopefully as we’re rubbing shoulders with them we’re already befriending them and building meaningful relationships with them. And the way we do that is by treating non-Christians like people, not projects: being friends and loving them regardless of whether they ever accept Christ, and getting to know them for friendship’s sake rather than just being interested until you can share the Gospel with them and then dump them.

This next section might rub some people the wrong way, and I apologize in advance, because it is not my intention to be inflammatory. Because I realize that I could easily communicate the wrong thing, so please bear with me as I attempt to phrase my thoughts in a clear and rational manner, seasoned with salt and grace. Now that I hopefully have you curious as to what I’m going to say, I shall begin by making the broad statement that we should not judge other people. Hopefully by the end of this post you’ll understand what I mean by this.

I would say that most people (probably all people) don’t like to be judged. Yet, we usually don’t have a problem judging others. Right up there with hypocrisy in the church is this complaint of “Christians are so judgmental” whenever I’m talking with non-Christians. It’s really made me think deeply about how exactly we as Christ-followers should behave and think as we rub shoulders with people who don’t follow Christ.

So, as I’ve been examining Scripture, I’ve found scant evidence that we as believers should be judging others. In fact, Jesus says exactly the opposite. That whole splinter and log in the eye analogy comes to mind (Matthew 7:2-4), as well as the story of the woman caught in adultery (John 8:1-11). Paul describes the exact same sort of thing in Romans 2:1-4: “You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. Now we know that God’s judgment against those who do such things is based on truth. So when you, a mere man, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God’s judgment? Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness leads you toward repentance?”

This is what I alluded to in the first part of my answer – we need to keep in mind that what sets us apart from non-Christians is not the way we live, per se, but Christ’s forgiveness living itself out in our lives. A friend of mine from church gave me this to chew on: judgment was never meant to be ours to exercise…we took for ourselves what was meant to be God’s when Adam and Eve ate the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. So that’s something I try to remember before I start making value judgments about people – the very things I think are horrible in someone else are probably the same things I struggle with.

I can imagine that there are some who are asking the questions, “but what about rebuking and admonishing and spurring our brothers and sisters on to lead holier, more Christ-like lives? What about church discipline?” Those are good questions to answer. The simple answer is that what I’m addressing is a judgmental heart attitude, whereas those things I just listed are expressions of a loving heart attitude. I’m going to be addressing accountability, personal conviction, and rebuke in a future part. For now, trust me that I’m not saying that we should either condone or turn a blind eye to rampant sin in Christians’ lives. However, perhaps we need to stop and consider the extent to which we should be concerned about other people’s sins.

For example, say you had a non-Christian friend who cusses a lot. When you hang out with him, do you inwardly focus more on the fact that he cusses than that he is broken-hearted because he just broke up with his girlfriend? Does his language or behavior prevent you from seeing him the way God sees him? Are you going to extend him grace and accept him as he is, just as God does? How many of us would have told him at some point that it makes us uncomfortable when he uses that language and would ask him in some either direct or indirect way to clean up the way he talks around us?

My point is this: people are drawn to those who care beyond the surface. God has chosen to love us, despite our daily failures and innate character deficiencies. Paul tells us that He “demonstrate[d] His love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). How much more so do we need to show our friends how much we love them and meet them at their point of need! There will come a time when speaking the truth regarding sinful behavior may be necessary. However, just as God sees past the external issues and cares about the heart, we too need to care about the heart and soul of a person.

I’ve heard Christians try to explain to non-Christians that Christianity is not a religion, but a relationship. I’ve also heard Christians claim that their faith is not a set of do’s and don’ts, but a genuine, life-changing relationship with the Creator of the universe. And yet even though we may say these things, we are uncomfortable when people live the way they choose to live. This is good in the sense that we desire to live lives that honor God, but bad in the sense that we naturally distance ourselves from these people. In an effort to remain defiled, we avoid situations and people who may keep us from living pure lives, forgetting that we do a fine job of defiling ourselves on our own. We communicate to non-Christians that we love them, but only from a distance. Because we are too afraid of getting dirtied by their so-called filthy lives, we ask them to be who they are not or else we won’t accept them into our midst. Or perhaps, we don’t say anything, but everyone can tell that we don’t approve of what they do. Does this resonate with anyone else? I certainly feel this and have felt this from time to time. But the name found in the Bible for this type of heart attitude is far from approving, but condemning – we are Pharisees if we think this way.

But what of Christ’s name, you might say. We need to do all that we can to not associate Christ’s name with anything that might have a hint of ungodliness. As Christ’s ambassadors, what we say and what we do represent Christ to this generation. I agree with this principle – that we are being hypocritical if we proclaim Christ to be God and that we desire to be like Him, yet choose to walk in darkness. However, I disagree with the methods by which I’ve seen this principle applied in real life. Too often I find that the phrase “not even a hint” taken to mean “not even the appearance of.” Who are we to determine what appears to be holy or not? I believe that by concerning ourselves with the appearance of holiness for the sake of Christ’s image, we have turned our focus away from knowing God to looking right. Paul puts it this way: “Since you died with Christ to the basic principles of this world, why, as though you still belonged to it, do you submit to its rules: “Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!”? These are all destined to perish with use, because they are based on human commands and teachings. Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence.” (Colossians 2:20-23)

Jesus’ public image was horrendous in the eyes of “proper” Jews – he was a friend to sinners (Matthew 11:18-20), ate with tax collectors (Matthew 9:11), and being the Righteous One, dwelled among men for a time, who all have sinned. Yet, He was without sin and was blameless. While He may have been accused of associating with these known “sinners,” He could never be rightfully condemned of actually committing or condoning sinful behavior. I submit this as evidence that we, as Christ’s chosen people, can associate with people where they are at, while still living a life that is above reproach. For what is the Gospel: is it a call to holiness first, or is it an offer of grace first? I believe that grace must come before holiness. In our own lives, we all had to accept God’s unconditional grace before we could be made holy. And holy behavior comes from an inward change of the heart, not from the external efforts of the will. That change is brought about by God, not by our actions or words. Therefore, I believe that we ought not to be afraid to associate with non-Christians wherever they are in whatever spiritual state they are, regardless of our appearance.

A real-life example of this in my own life comes from the way I live my life with my classmates. They know that I am a Christian – and with that label, most are initially uneasy around me, because they are afraid that I will call them out on the way they live their lives. However, by demonstrating to them that I care about them regardless of how they live, by choosing to spend time with them in locations and in situations that are comfortable to them, and by encouraging them to be themselves, they now see that Christ wants to have a relationship with them because His ambassador wants to have a relationship with them. They know and respect that there are some things that they do that I will not do, but by choosing not to associate my personal convictions with Christ has allowed them to be open and honest about their lives with me. To them, knowing Christ is about a real relationship that goes far beyond proper behavior.

Before I conclude this very lengthy section, I think that it’s also important for me to warn against doing things that go against personal conviction. Scripture states that if we do something that violates our conscience, that is sin. And woe to me if I cause my brother to stumble! So please don’t take what I just wrote as me saying that everyone needs to do things that may very well violate their conscience. But I hope that what I have written stimulates your thinking to stop and consider what you do and how you think. Personal conviction, even if it is supported by Scripture, cannot be forced upon someone else. I hope that what I have shared is not simply my personal conviction about how I think we should go about life, but rather a description of what the Bible says how we should live life.

In summary, as we prayerfully seek to “engage our culture,” we must approach all people with an attitude of grace and love. Judgment is reserved for God, and as we befriend and minister to people, Christian and non-Christian alike, we should exercise mercy, that people see God’s love and forgiveness lived out in our lives. It is not irreconcilable to live a pure and blameless life while associating with sinners, and it is okay and (dare I say it?) essential that we spend time with sinners where they are at, even at the cost of “appearing” ungodly. However, this should only be done as far as our conscience will let us.

Here’s something I wrote a while back. Sorry, it’s kinda long. I like to make up for my long absences from the blog by posting long things.

Love is patient. It is not impatient. It is shown in the attitude of waiting. A patient person harbors no resentment or bitterness towards anybody, but joyfully waits on God’s timing. This means valuing people above situations. This means I care for why someone is late instead of getting angry because MY schedule is thrown off. This means bearing up with others’ weaknesses with a desire to see God change them, not me. This means looking for the best in people, rather than caring about how others respect me.

Love is kind. It is not unkind. It seeks to bring out the best in people. It speaks gently to people; it never uses harsh words or tones or actions. It treats others as he would want to be treated. This means building others up with encouraging words rather than critically pointing out their faults. This means responding to a harsh word with grace and humility, rather than retaliating in anger. This means helping others when they are in need. This means being observant of others’ needs and taking initiative to meet those needs as best as I can. This means caring for others, giving my life away and trusting God to care for my needs.

Love does not envy. It is content. It rejoices with others’ successes without bitterness or resentment. It mourns with others’ losses without gloating about their misfortune. This means finding my needs met in the person of Jesus Christ. This means that I am satisfied with where I am and with what God has given me. This means I don’t compare myself with others in any aspect – not grades, not abilities, not prayer lives, not Scripture memory, not wisdom, not character, NOTHING.

Love does not boast. It promotes others above self. It does not exalt himself. It speaks in humility. This means accepting the grace of God in every aspect of my life. This means speaking in ways that make others look good, without putting myself down or shortchanging myself. This means having a tender attitude towards others, seeking to benefit all who listen.

Love is not proud. It is humble. A loving man is aware of who he is, how God has blessed him, but does not desire to lord those blessings over anyone. He recognizes that he is not God. He is teachable, able to learn from any situation and anyone. He does not hesitate to do the right thing, even if it hurts himself. He does not consider himself better than others, but offers his strengths to help others’ weaknesses. This means I look past myself and my hurts to the struggles and hurts that others may have. This means giving everything I have to others, even my life. This means asking questions to understand, rather than asking questions to challenge disrespectfully or to instruct. This means listening more and lecturing less. This means graciously accepting correction and rebuke, while being slow to presume authority over others. This means being open and honest with people, sincerely sharing my heart instead of hiding from others. This means having compassion for others, seeing them as God sees them.

Love is not rude. It is polite. It is considerate. It esteems other people’s feelings higher than being funny or making a point. A loving man asks the question, “Is this going to encourage?” before speaking. This means thinking before I speak. This means being tactful and attentive to others, rather than being concerned with my own agenda.

Love is not self-seeking. It looks to the interests of others. It places others’ interests ahead of my own. It causes me to put my desires to death, in favor of helping to fulfill others’ desires. This means choosing to look at others in the best possible light. This means admitting fault rather than justifying myself. This means letting others choose what they want first, and that I choose last or take what is left. This means making others look good. This means doing whatever I can to make other people’s jobs easier.

Love is not easily angered. It is self-controlled. It does not let issues and situations damage relationships. It gives grace to others and forgives quickly. It seeks to understand others first, then to be understood. It does not harbor grudges, nor does it allow frustration to build up. This means communicating my heart without accusation. This means guarding my heart from lies. This means listening and asking questions, rather than assuming the worst in others. This means being gracious at receiving correction and rebuke, instead of taking offense. This means realizing that I am covered by grace, so that I do not need to criticize my faults as much as I do. This means caring about how others feel, and caring less about how I feel.

Love keeps no record of wrongs. It forgives and chooses not to remember the offense. It never brings up the past in a conflict. It pays the price for others and says, “No strings attached.” It does not manipulate. This means honestly forgiving others. This means seeking to right wrongs I have done. This means that I don’t play the “blame game.” This means taking responsibility for the wrongs I have done to others. This means moving past my hurts/wounds/scars to serve others.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Love doesn’t seek to harm others or pursue personal satisfaction. It doesn’t hide sins in darkness, nor does it parade sins in the light. It longs for true repentance, a changed heart. It desires truth and despises falsehood. It is sincere; it is pure. This means becoming a “safe” person with whom to talk – one who encourages open, honest talk without judgment. This means fleeing all forms of temptation, resisting the devil, and standing firm in the knowledge of Scripture. This means seeing beyond the brief ecstasy of sin and having faith in the promises of God, which never fail. This means speaking the truth in love, rather than lying or speaking harshly.

Love always protects. It defends others, it does not attack them. It cares for the defenseless, the helpless, the weak. It engages in battle on behalf of another. It prays for others’ weaknesses rather than blow off their struggles just because “I don’t deal with that.” It seeks to create a safe environment for people to share their hearts. It guards fiercely. It shelters and invites, rather than tearing down and destroying. This means showing grace to others. This means shielding others from attacks. This means giving up my life for the sake of others.

Love always trusts. It is not skeptical. It seeks to know the character of a person, and believe that God is molding them. It is fully aware of the possible worst (at least somewhat aware), but chooses to assume the possible best. It empowers others by supporting them. This means knowing someone for who they really are without passing judgment. This means placing confidence in people, that I can say that they will honor their word.

Love always hopes. It does not despair. It looks for how God is working out every situation for the best. It is confident in God’s faithfulness. It tries to see the potential in others and works to encourage and foster growth. This means I should look for the truth in everything. This means seeing beyond situations and moving past myself. This means putting my pain and sorrow before God and trusting His comfort, then letting those wounds heal, rather than dwelling on those pains. This means being joyful in the Lord. This means being bold in my witness. This means doing everything without grumbling or complaining. This means being passionate about God.

Love always perseveres. It never gives up or surrenders when things become difficult. It stays true and stands firm, even when everyone else has fallen away. It sticks through the hard times. It is committed; it is dedicated to working through the tough stuff. This means not allowing any thing, person, or situation come between my relationships. This means I choose to continue showing love and loving others, regardless of what happens.

Love never fails. It is 100% faithful. It does not wane in commitment. It lasts forever. It forgives and does not withhold itself from others. This means becoming like Jesus. This means NO ABANDONMENT. This means devoting myself to others completely, not hoarding some away for myself, “just in case.” This means that I can rest in confidence, because the love of Christ will always win out.

Love is patient. It is not impatient. It is shown in the attitude of waiting. A patient person harbors no resentment or bitterness towards anybody, but joyfully waits on God’s timing. This means valuing people above situations. This means I care for why someone is late instead of getting angry because MY schedule is thrown off. This means bearing up with others’ weaknesses with a desire to see God change them, not me. This means looking for the best in people, rather than caring about how others respect me.

Love is kind. It is not unkind. It seeks to bring out the best in people. It speaks gently to people; it never uses harsh words or tones or actions. It treats others as he would want to be treated. This means building others up with encouraging words rather than critically pointing out their faults. This means responding to a harsh word with grace and humility, rather than retaliating in anger. This means helping others when they are in need. This means being observant of others’ needs and taking initiative to meet those needs as best as I can. This means caring for others, giving my life away and trusting God to care for my needs.

Love does not envy. It is content. It rejoices with others’ successes without bitterness or resentment. It mourns with others’ losses without gloating about their misfortune. This means finding my needs met in the person of Jesus Christ. This means that I am satisfied with where I am and with what God has given me. This means I don’t compare myself with others in any aspect – not grades, not abilities, not prayer lives, not Scripture memory, not wisdom, not character, NOTHING.

Love does not boast. It promotes others above self. It does not exalt himself. It speaks in humility. This means accepting the grace of God in every aspect of my life. This means speaking in ways that make others look good, without putting myself down or shortchanging myself. This means having a tender attitude towards others, seeking to benefit all who listen.

Love is not proud. It is humble. A loving man is aware of who he is, how God has blessed him, but does not desire to lord those blessings over anyone. He recognizes that he is not God. He is teachable, able to learn from any situation and anyone. He does not hesitate to do the right thing, even if it hurts himself. He does not consider himself better than others, but offers his strengths to help others’ weaknesses. This means I look past myself and my hurts to the struggles and hurts that others may have. This means giving everything I have to others, even my life. This means asking questions to understand, rather than asking questions to challenge disrespectfully or to instruct. This means listening more and lecturing less. This means graciously accepting correction and rebuke, while being slow to presume authority over others. This means being open and honest with people, sincerely sharing my heart instead of hiding from others. This means having compassion for others, seeing them as God sees them.