In the wake of all of these new “modern” translations of the Bible, I pose this question. What if the Bible was “paraphrased” with the Star Wars fan in mind? Perhaps there would be quotes like this (some of these ideas courtesy of Danny):

• Jesus’ reply to Peter’s confession of Christ (Matthew 16:13-20): “Great, kid. Don’t get cocky!”


• Jesus to Peter after Peter cuts off the servant’s ear (Mark 6:1-6): “I find your lack of faith disturbing.”


• About Zacchaeus the Tax Collector (Luke 19:1-10): “Aren’t you a little short for a tax collector?”


• When Jesus healed a blind man at Bethsaida (Mark 8:22-26): “I think my eyes are getting better. Instead of a big dark blur, I see a big light blur.”


• What Herod might have said to the Magi when they were looking for the baby Jesus (Matthew 2:1-12): “Looking? Found someone I would say, hmmm??? Hehehehehehehehe!!!”


• Jesus’ claim to be God (John 10:30, in context v. 22-42): “I am your Father.”


• A description of Christ (Colossians 1:17): “He surrounds us and penetrates us, and binds the universe together.”


• Paul talks about our new spiritual state in Christ (Romans 8:10, 1 Corinthians 6:19): “Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter.”

And now for some hypothetical situations:

• Jacob’s reaction to hearing about Joseph in Egypt: “A ranking official in Egypt? Gee, I’m out of it for a while and everyone gets delusions of grandeur!”


• Satan to Jesus in the wilderness: “If you will not be turned, then you will be destroyed!”


• Possible exchange between Jonathan and David: “Together again.” “Wouldn’t miss it.” “How we doin’?” “Same as always.” “That bad, huh?”


• God to Elijah in the desert after the incident at Mt. Carmel: “You cannot hide forever.”


• The priests on Mt. Carmel: “We’re doomed.”


• Ackbar at Kidron: “It’s a trap!”


• When Paul preached to the Bereans, he might have said something like this - “Search the Scriptures; you know it to be true.”